Wednesday, January 04, 2006

 

The "Auto Zone Hand" Incident

As told by Josh A.

Alright, so, I walk into Auto Zone to get a part for my truck. I get up to the register to pay for my product and what not. Wait, I guess I should mention that I have a "goat hoof". Due to a motocross accident, one of my fingers is mangled and the fingernail is split in the middle and all haggard looking.

Anyway...I am paying for my product and the guy stops me and says "Whoa man, what happened to your finger?" I tell him the story. At this point he literally whips out onto the counter, this monstrosity of a hand, maybe a birth defect, i dont know. Just imagine in Scary Movie 2, Chris Elliots "strong hand." Well, yeah...kinda like that. This guy has like 3 1/2 nubs and maybe a good thumb.

He starts to describe to me how he smashed his (good) finger. He points to it and tells his little story. The whole time, I couldn't keep my eyes off this little nub that couldn't stop twitching. I swear one was trying to speak to me. I thought to myself..."what the hell happened to the rest of your hand!?" But with total honesty and sincerity, he told his tale, like everything was right in the world.

The sight of that hand will haunt me in my dreams for the rest of my life. And by comparison, my "goat hoof" is beautiful.

Told by Josh A.
Posted by UberBrian

Comments:
imagine the duck/human thing in a south park PETA eposoide struggling to say "Kill me. Kill me." is what the little twitching finger was trying to say.
 
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