Wednesday, January 25, 2006
The "Beached Whale" Incident
One time I was at the beach and I noticed there was a beached whale out in the water, and I knew it was up to me to save it. So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you,I was terrified. But I pressed on. And as I made my way past the breakers, a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you, at that moment, I was a marine biologist.
The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about 50 feet out and, suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, he was 10 stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.
Then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork, and I found myself right on top of him — face to face with the blowhole! I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me, but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction. It was a golf ball. Apparently, one of my friends was practicing his ball driving on the beach.
by UberBrian
The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about 50 feet out and, suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, he was 10 stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.
Then, from out of nowhere, a huge tidal wave lifted me, tossed me like a cork, and I found myself right on top of him — face to face with the blowhole! I could barely see from the waves crashing down upon me, but I knew something was there. So I reached my hand in, felt around, and pulled out the obstruction. It was a golf ball. Apparently, one of my friends was practicing his ball driving on the beach.
by UberBrian
# posted by UberHaters @ 12:52 PM 
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