Friday, January 13, 2006


The "Day of Retards" Incident

Today, I went to the store to get some stuff to make lasagna. I had no idea what was in store for me. I get there, get all my food and proceed to check out. I am looking for a small line, and am kind of meandering about. Some employee lady asks if I want to check out. I told her I was, and she told me to use the self check out, in which I reply "No thanks, I don't like those, especially for buying food and produce, plus they always mess up." She then says "aawww, come on, I'll help you out." Well, I'm not just going to call her dumb and walk away, so I went to the self checkout.

She starts ringing my stuff up and as soon as she scans the last item.....the thing crashes. As I look over and see people walking out the door that I had just seen in line, I think to myself, "How much trouble would I get into for punching this chic." Well, she takes all of my food and goes to another self check out line. While she is ringing my stuff up, some other tards go to the busted machine and start using it, so she has to go help them real quick. Finally, she gets back and finishes checking me out. It totally doubled my time in the check out area.

As we are leaving the parking lot, some old lady is cutting across and almost T-Bones us. Then, as we are leaving the parking lot, and head towards Little Giant, someone pulls out and almost T-Bones us. THEN, as we were leaving Little Giant, we were heading down mainstreet, and someone pulls out right in front of us coming out of Casey's. THHEEEEN, when we get back to my house I can't even get there because all these stupid soccer moms are parked in my yard, and in the middle of the street, waiting to pick there kids up from school. So as wreckless as possiblle, I navigated my way through the cars, and backed up into my yard TIGHTLY between to tards.

When I got inside, I drop kicked my cat.

by UberBrian

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