Tuesday, January 03, 2006


The "McDonald's" Incident (WARNING: Pretty disturbing and gross!)

Eric, UberBrad, and I (UberRed) were getting a quick bite to eat before we left to go to an Illini game in Urbana, IL. We decided to just grab a bite to eat at the UberCarmi McDonald’s because it’s quick and cheap, and we go in to eat. After we finish eating UberBrad gets up to use the bathroom before we leave. I also have to use the restroom but I waited until UberBrad got out because I didn’t know if the bathrooms were for one or two. Anyways, UberBrad comes out after a couple of minutes laughing and shaking his head, so I naturally say what and he says I’ll tell you when we leave. I say alright and proceed to head towards the bathroom, and UberBrad says that I might want to wait a little bit. Now I am confused and am putting together that what he is laughing at is what is going on in the bathroom, but I really have to pee so I take my chances. UberBrad tells me not to look left and "keep my eyes on the prize."

So I head into the bathroom I’ve never been into and no idea what I am getting myself into. I kinda expect poop smeared on the walls or two gays making out or something. But what to I see out of the corner of my eye? Before I tell you let me set the scene of the bathroom keeping in mind that UberBrad told me not to look left. I walk in and notice that the stalls and urinal are on my left with the urinal left then right. I can’t see the stalls due to them being to the left of me then left again, so I proceed to the "prize" (also keep in mind the bathroom is pretty small). As soon as I make a left out of the corner of my eye, DAMN PERPHRIAL, I see a man wiping his ass standing up with his ass towards the door THAT WAS OPEN!!! WTF?????????
Now I am shocked by this and wishing I would have listen to my good friend UberBrad who warned me. I sped my way to the urinal while watching my back so this freak doesn’t attack me or something. I finish as quickly as possible and realize I have to walk by this guy again, so I do a head down and look away grab the exit door and get the hell out move.

As I exit and see UberBrad we had some eye contact and both start busting out laughing out laughing. As we walk out of McDonalds I tell UberBrad that there was a man wiping his ass with the stall door open, and he replays "He was wiping?" Apparently he was just dropping them off when UberBrad went in, but still with the stall door open.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE???? What possesses someone to take a shit with the door open in a public restroom? This is why there should be a citizen program where you can have one person executed a month that you feel doesn’t deserve to live anymore. It should be passed by a random board or jury of course... I mean I’m not a crazy person or anything.

Sorry UberBrad if you wanted to tell this story.


what a horrible horrible way to start your day. Looking eye to eye, with a dirty brown eye. I just don't know about some people. How old was the guy?
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