Tuesday, March 21, 2006

 

The "Late Night with Nothing to Do" Incident



Late one night myself and some friends were gathered at the local Wal-Mart parking lot, a stopping point on the cruise route in our little town, looking for something to do. We were always looking for something to do but rarely left the parking lot to do the things we talked about, this night was different, it was awesome. Eight of us standing around talking at about 11 p.m. on a warm summer saturday night when one, I will refer to him as Butch to avoid revealing his true name, discloses his plan for him and his girlfriend to "go back to my house and burn some CD's." Its Saturday night, who would go burn CD's? We all knew his parents were out of town and his house was in the country ensuring that him and his girlfriend would not be disturbed. At least he thought that would be the case. Roughly 10 minutes after his departure we came up with our plan to scare the shit out of him while him and his girlfriend when they were to be alone. Seven of us left now, I guess we will have to take two cars, we did, six of us piled into a huge Pontiac Parisenne. For you that have never seen a Parisenne, it is a monter of a mid 80's car probably 12 feet long. The remaining person drove his Chevy s10, he followed. First we needed gas, no problem, because our town is small but does not lack a gas station on every corner. We drove two blocks and pulled in, everyone piles out of the car, the driver pulls down the license plate and procedes to pump the gas. Everything is good, except the spring on the license plate is a little two much and the nozzle flies out and starts spewing out and whipping about much like in the movies, after we realized what was going on someone grabbed it and shut it off, but no without putting out about two gallons of 87 octane on the ground. That was first problem but not the last. We paid for the gas and started down the main street, two lanes in both directions, we did a pimp turn. For those that don't know or have forgotten a pimp turn involves turning extremely slow, crossing from you lane, in our case from the left lane to the right, and then sweeping back across both lanes to turn left. It was a masterpiece of a pimp turn too. We then meet up with burrell street, this street is known to have two railroad crossings, the first one is mild, the second is a bit steep, being an adventure we felt it nessasary to hit the second crossing at about 50 mph. We did actually catch air, the front end lifted up and crashed down hard, it was a miracle we didn't tear anything up. The only thing affected was the rearview mirror which was harmed by the person sitting bitch in front, of course no one had on a seat belt. This route we decided to travel was longer than needed but we had nothing to do, and this was an adventure. Continuing on, we sped down country roads with no regard to saftey of ourself and especially the possum that crossed our path, it exploded like it had just ate a pound of C4. Finally, we reached our destination, Butch has a very nice house, it has about four outside doors, damned if they weren't all locked, we feared our mission would be cut short. Luckily after much thought we decided to check his dad's car, it was unlocked, and had a garage door opener on the visor. We made it in, broke in through the garage. All the lights were out and most of us had never been inside, this made our trek interesting because we entered on the opposite end of the house than Butch's room. We made our way through like ninja, hoping to surprize Butch and his girlfriend catching them in some compromising position. Being that we were, in our heads, more daring than we actually are, we got nervous, we had broken into a house after all. As the front two approached his room the signaled for the rest to remain still. After a while they heard some sounds, sounds of what were never actually confirmed but we had our suspesions. We decided not to actually break in on them but scare them instead, so with absolute percision and stealthyness the ones in back left and got the car ready the front two waited for the most oportune moment and slamed two doors. They proceeded out, but not before one of them decided to look through Butch's refrigerator and came out eating a cup of pudding. My friend and myself got tired of waiting for them and decided to leave with the s10 guy, we jumped in the back of his truck and left. Our trip back was considerably shorter, we drove strait back to town, the s10 guy must have forgotten to put the seat belts back into the bed of the truck because he was under the assumption that doing nearly 90 mph down a shitty curvy country road was safe with us riding in the back. (And a side note: He did have his 2 year old in a car seat strapped to the front seat while driving like a maniac, this guy was a dousche. ) But we did leave feeling that we had done well and hoped that we had ruined our friends night of "CD burning." We were correct, the next day Butch revealed what had happend to him the night before competely baffled by what had gone on. Upon finding out of the excursion he was a bit pissed, but his girlfriend was even more pissed, thinking that we had saw things that we shouldn't. It was a good night.

-UberJonny

Comments:
This is a good story. I wish i were a part of this one. man i bet ryan... oh i mean butch... no i mean ryan butch...oh crap... butch was pissed and very weirded out that night.

Didnt someone jump into the back of the s10 on the get a way and was having problems of not staying in due to the excessive speeding on country roads?
 
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